I know a woman who has recently started going to a therapist. She said she finally made an appointment after three years of dealing with her anxiety, poor sleep, and feeling “off” in many ways. She said she had been waiting for things to get “bad enough” but realized recently that she had been waiting for a long time. I asked her what took so long and she said “I didn’t think I qualified.”
That word. Qualified. I think about it a lot.
For many people, they want to wait until things get “bad enough” and then go to therapy. But for many people, the “bad enough” moment never arrives.
What does a mental health care professional help with??
Most people perceive that a mental health professional spends most of their time with patients in counseling sessions listening to their problems. Then, the mental health professional offers words of encouragement to the patient in order to comfort them. As can be expected, in some instances of counseling, there may be instances where a patient is crying on a couch and the mental health professional is sitting on the couch as well. However, the location of the couch does not have to be on the floor as depicted in movies. In reality, a mental health professional does a lot more than sitting on a couch with a patient all day.
The work that a mental health professional can do for their clients can vary a great deal depending on the needs of their clients and the orientation or approach that their mental health professional uses. In this post we will explore the work of a couple of different approaches to mental health care.
|
Type of support |
Best for |
What to expect |
|
Individual therapy |
Personal patterns, anxiety, depression, grief, life transitions |
Regular one-on-one sessions, usually weekly |
|
Couples or family therapy |
Relationship dynamics, communication breakdowns |
Sessions with your partner or family members present |
|
Group therapy |
Shared experiences, social anxiety, recovery |
Facilitated group with a therapist, often surprisingly powerful |
|
Psychiatry |
When medication may be part of the picture |
Medical evaluation, often alongside therapy |
The “bad enough” myth
However, there is a way of looking at things that is frustrating, in that so many people view mental health in a negative light. Many people wait until things are bad enough and then seek help. They see a therapist until they can deal with things on their own again. This can be compared to going to the doctor until you can no longer walk due to an illness or injured and then you go to the doctor. It would be much better for your health if you went to the doctor before you got that ill or injured in the first place.
The fact is, most people wait until the situation becomes “bad enough” before they will seek out the help they deserve. Three years ago my friend started dealing with a lot of anxiety, and she had problems sleeping. She was always on edge and felt like she was fighting off anxiety and stress all the time. Three years went by until she realized that she had been waiting until things got “bad enough” for her. She had told me a while back that she was going to wait until things got “bad enough” for her to get a therapist, and it turns out that three years was her time frame for waiting. She waited three years of struggling with her anxiety, sleep, and her general feeling of unease until she found a therapist. She admitted to her therapist that she had been waiting until things got “bad enough,” and that she “didn’t think she qualified” for the help she felt that she needed.
Looking at mental health care in practice, a lot of what people do is maintenance. This means that they get a “tune up” before they start to deteriorate. I tell people that going to therapy is just like going to the gym. You go while you’re still feeling good in order to stay that way. Yes, it can feel a little self-indulgent to deal with a problem before it has fully manifested, but in the long run it will be much better for you if you start dealing with the things that cause you stress as soon as possible.
What are the Signs of Stress that you need to Pay Attention To?
When do you start looking into seeking mental health support? Most meaningful reasons for people to start some kind of mental health work are not immediately obvious to others and are something that the individual may have trouble articulating to their friends and family.
- You’ve been irritable or short-tempered more than usual, and you can’t quite explain why
- Sleep is strange — either you can’t get enough or you’re exhausted no matter how much you get
- You find yourself going through the motions: present in body, somewhere else entirely in mind
- Things you used to enjoy feel flat — not sad exactly, just hollow, like someone turned the volume down
- You’ve been replaying the same thought loops for weeks and can’t seem to break the pattern
Even though these signs for trouble do not scream “emergency” to most people, to a mental health professional they are very obvious signs of trouble. Many people’s nervous systems are functioning as if the check engine light has come on, but they have chosen to tape it over and continue as normal.
(And, yes, I know the ‘check engine light’ is a very tired metaphor. But it’s a tired metaphor because it’s an accurate metaphor. There are times when accuracy is more important than novelty.)
When life transitions make everything harder
Being responsible for your life is hard when it’s at its most difficult. That’s when it seems like others are handling their lives just fine. Struggling to handle life during very trying circumstances is not failing in some way. Getting into good mental health care early during a major life change can help you to better handle yourself during the transition and when you return to your normal life. Your relationships, decisions, physical health, and more will be affected by seeking mental health care during trying times. People typically research the effects of seeking mental health care to understand it better. The effects can be very positive in many aspects of a person’s life. Many people find that it helps them handle stress, as well as negative thoughts and emotions. It can even help to increase a person’s feelings of happiness. Sometimes, seeking mental health care is the clearest indicator of good health. Many people are under the misconception that those who seek mental health care must be failing in some way. In actuality, good mental health care is indicative of good health in general.
Getting into good therapy services early during a major life transition can make a big difference in how you are when you have come through the other side. This can affect not only your emotional well-being but also your relationships, your ability to make good decisions, and your physical health. There is a lot of research on this topic, and it is hard to understand why so many people would invest in good lawyers, good financial advisors, good personal trainers and then treat good mental health care as an optional “add-on” or an indulgence.
It’s fascinating to me that so many people invest so much money and time in their physical health during times of stress and crisis and never think to invest in the most important tool to help them get through the tough times – their mind. Allowing someone to help calibrate your compass during difficult times is not an indulgence, it is smart.
So when, exactly?
Honestly, right now is usually fine. Waiting for things to get worse is a great way to make sure that the horizon of when things get worse will always recede in front of you as you try to approach it. If you are wondering if you should talk to a mental health professional then your wondering is already a kind of answer.
You don’t have to be broken to fix yourself. You don’t have to have a crisis or a diagnosis to have a check up. You can go to the gym to stay healthy, you can go to a therapist to stay healthy.
