You care about something deeply — maybe it’s beach safety, sustainability, mental health, or local volunteering. You see the impact it has, and naturally, you want others to care too. But as soon as you bring it up, eyes glaze over. The energy in the room shifts. Suddenly, you feel like you’re pushing your values on people who didn’t ask.
Sound familiar?
The truth is, trying to create change — even in your closest circles — can be tricky. Most people resist being told what to do, even with the best intentions. But there’s a better way: leading by example. If you support Surf Life Saving Foundation, for instance, and share that choice not with a speech, but through your actions and quiet consistency, you’re much more likely to spark interest than pushback.
Here’s how to influence the people around you without ever sounding like you’re on a soapbox.
Focus on Living It, Not Telling It
The most powerful way to inspire someone is by showing what something looks like in action — not what it sounds like in theory.
People are far more likely to engage when they see you:
- Volunteering your time with a local group
- Giving monthly to a cause you care about
- Picking up rubbish at the beach, unprompted
- Supporting your kids in learning generosity by example
These moments speak louder than any quote or call to action. When your actions reflect your values consistently, others start to notice — and eventually ask questions.
Share, Don’t Sell
There’s a big difference between saying “You should donate” and saying “I started giving $10 a month to this group because I saw how many rescues they do each summer — it made me think.”
Instead of pushing people toward a choice, invite them into your own thought process. Share your experience, not a directive.
Try phrases like:
- “This really changed how I see things.”
- “I’ve been learning more about ___ lately, and it’s been eye-opening.”
- “I didn’t realise how much impact even small actions can have until I saw this firsthand.”
You’re not positioning yourself as the expert — you’re just offering your perspective. And that feels far more approachable.
Let Curiosity Do the Heavy Lifting
If you’re living in alignment with your values, and doing so authentically, people will eventually get curious. They’ll ask:
- “Why do you always support that group?”
- “How do you know where to donate?”
- “How did you get involved with that project?”
That’s your moment. Not to lecture — but to share honestly. When someone’s asking, they’re open. No need to oversell. Just keep it real.
Know When to Pull Back
Sometimes people aren’t ready. And that’s okay.
If you push too hard or too often, even the most important message can create distance instead of connection. Part of inspiring change is knowing when to let someone sit with an idea — and come to it in their own time.
If someone shuts down or dismisses the topic, that doesn’t mean they’ll never come around. It just means they’re not in the space to receive it right now. Trust that your quiet consistency still plants seeds.
Celebrate Small Wins — Theirs and Yours
When someone in your circle does take a step — even a small one — make sure to acknowledge it. Not with fanfare, but with genuine encouragement.
- “That’s awesome you went to that beach cleanup.”
- “I noticed you shared that fundraiser — I bet that meant a lot to them.”
- “Every bit really does count. I’m glad you’re part of it.”
People want to feel that their efforts matter — and encouragement keeps the momentum going. It also creates a more supportive, collaborative dynamic instead of a top-down one.
Be Patient. Most Change Is Slow and Quiet.
Real change doesn’t usually happen from one conversation. It happens over time. From small exposures. From stories heard and experiences shared. From watching someone live in a way that makes others think, maybe I could do that too.
So don’t be discouraged if you don’t see immediate results. Keep showing up, living out your values, and sharing without preaching. That’s how movements grow — one quiet leader at a time.
Influence Isn’t Loud. It’s Consistent.
The people who make us think differently often don’t realise they’re doing it. They’re just living with intention. They’re not shouting. They’re not trying to convert. They’re just doing what feels right — and inviting others to join, not out of guilt, but out of inspiration.
So if you want to create change in your circle, don’t start with a speech.
Start with your life.
